What started out as good intentions has morphed into utter laziness. August came with a bit of fearful trepidation: a series of beginnings and unknowns. Tiny started Kindergarten; I started my second job. It was a new situation for both of us, but we began each day with enthusiasm, and were always prepared for the coming day.
Every morning I awoke at 6 AM. Every morning I got dressed, made coffee, and woke a tiny human. I would get him dressed, made his breakfast, and pack his lunch. Then we would happily troupe to the car, drive to school, and wait until the doors of the school opened.
From August through December, our days were set, punctual, and mapped out.
Well, I’ve been writing this blog for over thirty minutes, and have contemplated shutting the computer and sneaking off into the bedroom in search of a nap.
Gone are the days in which I woke at 6 AM, ready to conquer the morning. Morning classes have given way to evening classes, which leaves my desire to wake up before 6:45 nonexistent. Tiny has felt the same way. His desire to pop awake at 6:30 and declare, “Morning, Mommy!” has also left. With the rise of the New Year, we’ve turned into a couple of morning haters.
Today the snooze button was hit three times. 7 AM came, and I threw a set of clothes at Tiny as I scrambled to don my scrubs. I crammed lunch into containers as I threw breakfast together. Coffee was forgotten in the race out the door–a race that was made worse because Tiny hadn’t read his school book the night before. Also, I realized when I came home for lunch that I’d forgotten to pack my son a fork.
Along with a note from school.
And his homework.
I practically screeched into the parking lot and threw my child at the Principal on my way to the office.
I still parked the car, walked him up, and waved a total of three times, until I no longer saw his pretty smile. And then I climbed in my car, paid $5 for lukewarm coffee, and went to work.
It’s not February, I haven’t even started my taxes, and I’ve been wishing for May since last year.
Is it summer yet?
Some things have gotten easier in my world. I guess I have to give myself props for that. I have our morning routine down. I have our afternoon routine down. I have figured out how to blend my first job and my second job together–which sometimes means wearing scrubs to school (like today), or changing into scrubs at the hospital.
I still haven’t figured out how to eat throughout the day, but that’s never been my top priority. Also, my gym time has fallen to the wayside, and fifteen pounds has magically made its way onto my body.
And, while I’m speaking of things I can’t manage to accomplish, if those school projects could stop coming home (100 Days of School is coming up! Our home project–due tomorrow!–is to glue 100 “alike” items onto your child’s shirt. No need to buy anything! We’re positive you have 100 things of the same classification laying around the house. Be creative!) I’d be appreciative. We never finished, or started, last month’s project, because I’ve been sick, and too dang busy to complete another flipping home project.
In another blog, in another week, I might touch on home projects and fundraisers.
From the beginning of this year, I’ve been looking forward to three solid months of nothing. Sure, Tiny would still have to go to daycare when I work, but the chaos of every day would be gone. I wouldn’t have to wake him (read: me) up so early. I wouldn’t have to pack lunches or scramble to find lunch money. I wouldn’t have to fight the car rider line in order to walk my child into the school. I wouldn’t have to wait until exactly 4 PM to pick up my child from daycare.
I wouldn’t have to feel like I only saw my child for 3 “working” mom hours before he had to go to bed. Because, in those three hours, we have homework, dinner prep, dinner cleanup, bath time, reading, and bed. And on Tuesday nights, when I teach night classes, I barely see my child, at all.
It’s been a large adjustment, not having quality time throughout the week with my child. I’ve already accepted the fact that he’s with his father once a week, basically every other weekend, every Easter, every Spring Break, and alternating holidays. I’ve already missed my child due to divorce, and missed my child due to work. Now I have to miss my child due to Kindergarten. That’s been a lot of missed time, which is why I’ve pushed mornings back, and shown up to daycare before his bus arrives in the afternoon.
This school year has had a lot of newness to it, and I’m ready for it to end.